Just Blame the Thestrals
by dancehavok
Summary: While on their quest to save Sirius Black, the thestrals take a certain group of young wizards to a very corrupt city instead.  The Order is concerned, the Death eaters are confused, and Gotham's best and worst are going to have a very interesting time.
1. A Short Introduction

The only thing Harry thought was that Sirius Black was in horrible, terrible, dreadful danger, among other synonyms. Specifically, Sirius was being held deep in the bowels of the Ministry of Magic, being interrogated by the Death Eaters. This, Harry assumed, was not something Sirius would do willingly, as being repeatedly tortured and threatened was not a fun way to pass the afternoon, or at least Harry didn't think so.

Unfortunately, he was going to meet people (or more correctly, a _person,_) that probably enjoy(ed) doing just that. But Harry didn't know about them (or more correctly,_ him_,), or about the consequences of trying to Floo-travel himself out of Hogwarts, in the new Headmistress's office no less. Big Brother—I mean, Dolores Umbridge, headmistress/dictator of the school threatened poor Harry when she caught him in the act, but thanks to Hermione's quick thinking, Umbridge was detained. Violently. By centaurs.

Having returned to Hogwarts from the Forbidden Forest, Harry and Hermione found Ron, Neville, Ginny, and Luna. Now that the six members of the Gryffindor Trio had banded and had rendered their nickname obsolete, it was time to find a much more effective way to find Sirius.

At first they had been stumped, as the Floo plan had failed and apparating was out of the question. Luna, however, found the solution to their problem.

"We fly, of course."


	2. A Slightly Longer Chapter One

"We fly, of course," Luna said dreamily. The rest of the group turned and stared.

"On what?" they all asked, more or less simultaneously.

She only smiled and walked off. They followed, befuddled, behind her.

Not many wizards or witches know about the thought processes of a thestral. The thing about them is that they are all narcissists. They believe that their grotesqueness is pure beauty, and all that beauty got to their heads, especially when all else there was to look at were the ugly humans, their carriages, and the countryside around Hogwarts. If they could have it their way, they would change the place to a dank, dark, and rusty old city and everybody would look like them and be able to properly see one another without the seeing-someone-die clause. _Then_ the world would be truly beautiful.

Another thing about thestrals is that, given the chance, they would excel at geography or any study involving getting from place to place. Each of the Hogwarts herd knew just about every landmark in England, and a lucky few knew a fair amount about the strange land America. These wise ones told tales to the other thestrals about a truly beautiful place, dark and dank and with people almost as beautiful as the thestrals were. They had also observed that people died a _lot_ there, usually in front of a bunch of witnesses. This meant that they would be visible to most of the people there. This place soon became the thestral version of the Promised Land, and not a day passed without them thinking about somehow getting there.

The group docilely followed Luna until they had reached the thestrals. Upon seeing them, Harry began to grin.

"Luna?"

"Yes?"

"This is a _brilliant_ idea," he answered, going forward and opening the door to the pen.

The thestrals, who had previously been sleeping, lifted up their heads and looked at Harry apprehensively. What did the humans want _now_?

"Sorry if I sound slow, but what am I supposed to be seeing here?" asked Ron. Hermione and Ginny looked equally confused. For all they knew, Harry had opened the gate to a large but empty pen and was now attempting to sit on top of the air inside.

"They're, um, thestrals," answered Neville. "You can really only see them if you've seen someone die, and they can fly long distances and, er…" He trailed off, nervous at the prospect of having to ride one of them all the way to the Ministry.

"We'll be flying on something _invisible?" _Hermione paled noticeably.

Luna went in to the pen, seemingly patted the air, and then led it out of the pen. "Here you go, Hermione. Don't worry, it's sitting down now. Here, I'll help you."

About fifteen minutes later that were mostly filled with Ron attempting to sit on_ real_ empty air as his thestral watched bemusedly, they were ready for flight.

They lifted into the air, each witch and wizard holding on for dear life as the thestrals climbed higher with each powerful wing beat. Soon, they were high in the sky, thestrals screeching, all of them beginning their great journey that would _not_ be the journey they were thinking of.

As the heroes were getting prepared to fly, the six chosen thestrals talked quietly to each other with little clicks, squeals, and screeches. If their conversation were to be translated to English, it would have sounded like this:

"Where do you think they're planning on going?" asked Jones. Hagrid had given each of the thestrals a different name, each and every hundred-something of them, along with his multitude of other pets.

"Dunno. Must be someplace nice," replied Kurt.

"No, I heard them talking, they're just going to the Ministry of Magic," added Bob. He had been named later on, when Hagrid was beginning to run low on titles.

"Ugh, what a bore." complained Branch. He was named during the unfortunate time when Hagrid had run out of proper names and had to start using the first noun that popped into his head.

The other two, twins named Run and Jump (Hagrid had run out of nouns and had to move on to verbs,) talked almost in whispers and took turns speaking.

"What if we-"

"Were to simply-"

"Change their course a little bit?" This was followed with a slightly evil-sounding whinny.

"And where would you suggest?" asked Branch suspiciously. Those twins always gave him the creeps.

"How about-"

"We go to that wonderful place-"

The other thestrals knew what the twins were going to say, and began to screech excitedly. By this time they were up in the air and flying, and it was easy to 'accidently' fly in to a cloud, turn northwest, and head towards the ocean at full speed, which is surprisingly very, very fast. The witches and wizards held on with an even tighter grip than before.

A whole day had passed, and they couldn't see anything but clouds. Wary of the thin air, Hermione had long ago cast a charm that put it back to a breathable pressure around them.

Ron, having found a comfortable way to ride the thestral without falling off, held his stomach and groaned. "I haven't eaten in _hours_."

"We know, Ron, we're hungry, too." replied Ginny. She started to absentmindedly chew her hair, but stopped when the wind blew it out of her face.

Harry had been getting more and more worried during the trip. "Why aren't we there yet, it's not far away! We should have been there hours ago; we're going quickly enough, aren't we?"

"Maybe we're really going slowly and we just can't tell," said Neville, who had been rather quiet for the majority of the ride.

"I don't think so," said Hermione, trying and failing to keep her hair from blowing all over the place.

"Are we even going in the right direction?" asked Ron. Everyone aside from the thestrals watched with bated breath as Harry fished out his wand.

"_Point me_."

The wand spun in his hand and the tip pointed north.

"Oh bloody 'ell," went Ron as he crumpled forward and laid his head down on the thestrals neck, almost sobbing.

No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get the thestrals to turn from their lifelong quest to reach their Promised Land. Eventually, they gave up turning the thestrals around and instead began to try to figure out where they were going to end up.

As the sun finished setting, the thestrals came down from the cloud cover, causing the now completely and utterly lost students to gasp. They were over a river, and the thestrals were following it, screeching and squealing as they remembered it as one of the landmarks leading to their destination.

Luna pointed to the horizon. "Look! Way up there! Lights!"

Indeed there were. Bright yellow and blue lights lit up the night sky, and they were getting closer to them. A few bridges came into view, along with the cause of the lights: multiple skyscrapers.

The thestrals went lower and prepared to land.

"No, no! It's a muggle city! We can't land here!" Hermione tried to stop her thestral to no avail. The others tried the same, some more forcefully, some less, but all had the same result of failure.

Gaining speed from the descent, the thestrals careened under the bridge, over a small building, and finally down onto an abandoned lot. They then quickly shook off their riders and ran down the street, shrieking with glee.

Ron, Neville, and Hermione had landed on their backs and the concrete had not made good friends with their spines. They got up slowly, groaning all the way. Harry had landed face first and thought he was lucky for not having broken his glasses or his face, but wasn't too sure about the rest of his body. Ginny had landed on a small patch of sickly grass that gave her a rough equivalent of rug burn. Luna had landed in a puddle, and the bottom back fourth of her robes was soaked.

"Oh, you have got-" Ron paused as his back cracked. "-to be kidding me."

"Oh, what have we done?" asked Neville, worried about the thestrals that were most likely about to terrorize all the poor muggles.

The thestrals were in fact doing just that, having a great time inspiring the second bout of pure terror the Narrows had seen this year.


	3. Shorter than One But More Points Of View

If anyone gets confused about the Batman timeline, it takes place just before and during The Dark Knight movie but has characters from the 90's movies and maybe some from the comics.

Also, who else wants to see Inception? It basically has all the side characters from Batman Begins.

* * *

The Dark Lord Voldemort hissed quietly yet forcefully at the Death Eaters around him. "_Where are they?"_

"We—we don't know, my lord." Lucius Malfoy bowed painfully. He was sore from having to hide in the darkness for hours until this meeting was called. It really was less of a meeting and more of a lets-just-stand-here-and-grovel-while-we-get-yelled-at-for-fifteen-minutes type thing.

"_Why didn't they come?_"

"We—we don't know, my lord." This time Crabbe answered, mirroring Malfoy's words exactly but in a less intelligent tone.

"_Did any of you honestly think I thought you knew? Those questions were rhetorical!"_ Voldemort raised his voice in anger as the Death Eaters cowered behind whoever was unlucky enough to be standing in the front.

"_Ah. Contact our spy at Hogwarts, see if Potter has even left the castle yet._"

They scurried off, all of them now attempting to do the same job at once. Voldemort smiled maliciously, closed his eyes, and began to send Harry a new vision of Sirius. This time, Sirius was being knocked unconscious. Violently. By centaurs.

_Evil_ centaurs.

* * *

The daily Gotham newspaper had arrived at Bruce Wayne's current living space. The front page was covered in a story about "panic in the streets" and "horrible hallucinations".

Alfred came in with breakfast. "Anything interesting today, master Wayne?"

Bruce flipped to the second page. "The newspapers seem to be a bit late with the news. It's behind by about a year."

Alfred went behind him and started to read over his shoulder. "The date's right."

He looked at the front page again, furrowing his brow. "It happened _again_?"

"So it seems," said Alfred nonchalantly as he set the table.

"Isn't Crane still in Arkham?"

"Not sure." He brushed lint off of a napkin. "I was under the impression that keeping tabs on the criminals was _your_ job."

But Bruce wasn't listening. The _one night_ he didn't go out as Batman, the Narrows transformed into one of the deeper circles of Hell. Again.

"What about the new one Gordon had told you about?" suggested Alfred.

"The Joker? Maybe." He went back to his thoughts.

"Well, while you're planning out how to change Gotham for the better, have some eggs and toast." Alfred set the plate in front of him, and Bruce gratefully dug in.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the abandoned lot, the witches and wizards were waking up after a rough night. The blankets they had magicked out of thin air had disappeared at midnight, anyway, so they weren't much help. They were all hungry, tired, and most importantly, lost.

"So what should we do?" asked Neville.

"Well, we need to get the thestrals back somehow. But we have to make sure we don't reveal ourselves as magic users to the muggles." Hermione paused, thinking about just how hard the whole prospect seemed. "If there is a bank somewhere-"

"What'll be the use of a bank? It won't be Gringotts." Ron pointed out. The others nodded in agreement.

Hermione blushed. "Well, if they can do overseas transactions, I can take money out of my muggle account. My parents had set aside a college fund when I was younger and never bothered to move it into their account when I went to Hogwarts."

"We'll need different clothes, plus food and a place to stay." said Luna.

"Yeah, robes aren't exactly inconspicuous." Ron dusted dirt off of his. "And- Harry, are you alright?"

Harry was doubled over in pain and holding his head. "Sirius—they've knocked him out—they'll kill him—"

Ginny helped him back up. "Harry, we're so sorry. When we catch the thestrals again, or find some way to get back, we're going straight to the Ministry, and- and—I don't really know what we'll do, but..."

"We'll figure out something to get him out," added Neville.

"Thanks." Harry looked at all of his friends with gratitude, each willing to help him even when some of them hardly even knew Sirius. "Well, we should find the bank. And remember, no magic unless absolutely necessary for defending yourself."

The all nodded in agreement, and soon they were off on their search for the bank.

* * *

The recently condemned motel had been repurposed as a hiding place for Gotham's most wanted. Sure it was dingy and falling apart, but it was that or returning to Arkham Asylum. At the moment, the villains known as Poison Ivy, Penguin, Catwoman, and Scarecrow were staying there and lying low. The Joker had gone off to do god-knows-what, and they were left with practically nothing to do.

Currently they were staying in what used to be the lobby, because the remaining rooms were beginning to fall apart. The Joker did not go easy on his living areas, and moved to a new room practically every day, leaving very little room for them.

Penguin snickered as he read a stolen newspaper. "Hey Scarecrow, how's that whole reign of terror thing? How come you didn't invite us along?"

"What?" Poison Ivy snatched the paper out of his hands and read. "_You've_ been busy. We're supposed to be lying low."

Scarecrow snatched the paper out of her hands and read. He looked surprised. "Actually, it wasn't me this time."

Catwoman stopped playing with her ball of yarn and yawned. "Oh, what_ever_. When's Joker getting back? I'm bored out of my mind."

Penguin shrugged and grabbed at the newspaper. "Gimme that. I want to read the comics."


	4. The Real Chapter Three

The first class of the day was Potions, Gryffindors with Slytherins. Professor Snape, after entering the room with a dramatic slamming of the door and swishing of robes, began to take roll.

"Malfoy."

"Here."

"Goyle."

"What? I mean, here."

And so on and so forth, until he reached the Gryffindor class.

"Granger?"

No answer.

"Longbottom?"

Silence.

"Potter?"

Complete absence of noise.

"Weasley?"

"Beuller?" someone in the back whispered.

"Ten points from Gryffindor." He snarled, even though the whisper had come from the Slytherin side of class. How did they even know about that bit of American muggle culture? "Open to page fifty-seven. Follow every instruction. To. The. Letter." And with that, he exited the classroom in a very similar fashion to the way he came in.

He checked the infirmary, the hallways, and Umbridge's room. She also seemed to be missing, but that was less worrying than the missing students. He even asked Professor McGonagall to check the Gryffindor common room.

If the Gryffindor Trio plus one were missing, something bad had either already happened or was about to. Entering his office, he started up the fireplace, prepared to contact the Order headquarters. Before he could, the fire flared up, and Bellatrix Lestrange walked out, wand at the ready to blast anyone she didn't need to see into tiny, bite-sized pieces.

"Where is Potter?" they both asked. Both looked at each other, confused.

"You mean he isn't here?"

"You mean he is not with you?"

Both looked quizzically at each other again.

"Then where would he be?" questioned Snape.

Both thought about it, but were interrupted by about fifteen scrambling Death Eaters coming out of the fireplace, all of them asking the same question.

"Where's Harry Potter?"

Snape scowled. "Would all of you get out of here? The Floo network is under supervision, the Ministry is open again, and more importantly, _Potter is not here._"

"Well, about the Ministry opening…" One of the Death Eaters shuffled his feet. "There was a bit of a fight. We sort of lost track of time, and while we were on our way _here_, and, er, the Ministry opened and all the workers started coming in. We barely escaped."

"Well, you better escape again." Snape pointed at the fireplace. "You do realize you're all in Hogwarts. Find a better hiding place. I will use my connections to find where Potter's gone."

They disappeared back through the fireplace, Bellatrix giving him one last suspicious look before she left. Now that that was over with, he could contact the Order.

* * *

They had approached the Gotham National Bank.

"You all can stay outside," said Hermione. "Muggle banks aren't all that exciting. I won't take long."

Luna started up the steps behind her. "I'd like to go too, if you don't mind. It'd be nice to use the w.c."

"The what?"

"The _restroom_, Ron." Hermione gave an exasperated sigh. "A water closet. Does anyone else need to go?"

They shook their heads, wondering if a bank even had a customer accessible bathroom.

Once inside the bank, Hermione made a beeline towards an empty counter. Luna began to wander around. She hadn't really had to use the bathroom, but instead wanted to check the building for any danger.

Putting on the Spectrespecs that she had a habit of keeping in her front robe pocket, she scanned the area for any Wrackspurts. It was always good to check for those.

* * *

Various teams of men wearing clown masks were infiltrating the Gotham National Bank. Two landed on the roof of the building. Three other clowns were headed towards the bank in a car.

"There's us three guys, and two on the roof," said the one that was driving as the one in the backseat loaded his gun. "Every guy gets a share. Five shares are plenty."

"Six shares," said the clown beside him. "Don't forget the guy who planned the job."

"He thinks he can sit it out and still take a slice. I know why they call him the Joker."

* * *

Hermione thanked the person at the counter and put her money in a pocket. Luna was nowhere to be found. She shrugged and left the bank, assuming that Luna had already gone outside.

* * *

The two on the roof started to disable the alarm. "So why do they call him the Joker?" the first asked the other.

"I think it's because he wears makeup."

"Makeup?"

"You know, to scare people. Like war paint."

* * *

The three clowns from the car went in to the bank and started waving the guns in the air.

"Get down! Get down!"

The workers and customers quickly complied with this order, since when people start waving guns around, one of the easier options is to just do what they say.

Luna didn't, however. She was too busy crouching behind a potted plant and checking the dirt inside for nargles. Thankfully, the clowns were too preoccupied with making the people in the bank hold grenades to notice her or the bank manager, who was readying a sawed-off shotgun. He shot it at the clown burglar closest to him as the other ones slid behind the counters for cover.

Walking towards the clowns, he shot a few more times, but missed as they ducked behind the counters.

One clown with a large nose turned towards the other. "He's all out, right?"

The other nodded.

The clown stood up and narrowly avoided getting hit as the manager fired again.

All the loud banging and yelling had finally caught Luna's attention. She peeked out from behind the plant to see the bank manager crumple to the floor after being blasted by a clown.

"Where did you learn to count?" exclaimed the large-nosed clown as the other looked down at the bank manager.

All of this confused Luna. Was there some sort of party? There were clowns after all. Then again, people didn't usually fall to the floor and start bleeding at parties, or at least not at the good ones.

The large-nosed clown ran off to another room.

* * *

After the first clown on the roof disabled the alarm, the other shot him in the back. One less share, a lot more money for him.

He ran down the steps and to the safe, got a drill out of his bag, and began his work on the safe door. After a few seconds of drilling, an electric shock went through the drill and the man, sending sparks flying and the clown to the other side of the room.

The large-nosed clown entered the room as the first went back to the safe. "Sending out five thousand volts? What kind of bank even does that?"

"A mob bank," replied the other. "Where's the alarm guy?"

"The boss told me that when the guy was done, I should take him out." he answered as he opened the safe door.

"Funny. He told me something similar." He aimed his gun at the first clown's back.

"What? No-!"

But his protest came too late. The large-nosed clown introduced the first clown's back to a bullet.

The large-nosed clown returned to the bank entrance carrying multiple duffel bags of cash. "That's a lot of money," he stated as he added them to the pile of other bags. "If this Joker guy was so smart, he would have had us bring a bigger car." The other clown was about to turn around, but froze as he heard the click of the large-nosed clown's gun.

"I'm bettin' the Joker told you to kill me as soon as we loaded the cash." said the large-nosed clown, gun pointed at the other clown.

The other clown shook his head and checked his watch. "No, no. I kill the bus driver."

"Bus driver? _What_ bus driver-!"

Luna couldn't quite hear their conversation, but she could tell it was an argument. One clown also had what had hurt the bank manager pointed at the other. Hoping to keep the seemingly weaponless clown safe from the other and the large-nosed clown safe from the large yellow vehicle that was currently crashing in to the bank, she pulled out her wand, pointed it at the duo, and whispered "_Deprimo_!" forcefully.

Both clowns were blown away from each other, the large-nosed one losing his gun as he flew back, landed in a pile of rubble, and was knocked unconscious. The other quickly got back up and dusted himself off.

The bank manager was so stunned by what had just happened he completely forgot about what he was going to say to the clowns with what he thought were his dying breaths. Whatever it was, he was sure that it must have been good.

The driver of the bus was yet another clown. He started to load the bags on to the bus. Once he had finished, he was going to ask about what happened to everyone else, but was distracted by a young, blonde girl wearing luminous pink and blue glasses appearing from behind a potted plant.

"Oh, excuse me, sir, but I was wondering if you knew about the worrying amount of wrackspurts flying around your head." From her point of view through the Spectrespecs, there were indeed worrying amounts flying around him. The top half of his body was almost completely concealed.

The bus-driving clown stuttered. "Who, me? Wait, what?"

Luna shook her head and pointed at the other clown as she started picking her way over the rubble towards them. "No, the one beside you."

The bus driving clown pulled out his gun and aimed it at her, but the other clown pushed down his hand. "Wrecking spurts?" he asked, a slight giggle coming in to his voice.

She nodded seriously and took off the Spectrespecs. "Yes. Wrackspurts. They float in to your ears and make your brain go fuzzy." She pointed at her ear and moved her finger in a circle as if to demonstrate her point.

"How about you come with me and help me get rid of these…wrackspurts?" asked the clown.

It is good to know that Luna is a very good judge of character. She didn't really trust any of the clowns. However, she also believes that underneath her initial judgment there is a good, kind person, and she also handed out second chances like candy on Halloween. If needed, she could defend herself with her wand, and anyone with such a severe case of wrackspurts needed some help. She thought to herself for a moment. If anyone needed her, they could easily just contact her with the Dumbledore's Army coins. She could also give them more information about the city they were in if she had a tour guide, considering their immediate plans only involved 'shopping for absolute necessities'.

She nodded and walked up to him. He pulled off his clown mask, revealing a clown face underneath. Luna wondered what the point of the mask was if the face underneath looked basically the same.

Within a few minutes, a bus pulled out of the Gotham National Bank and joined another line of school buses just as the police force arrived at the scene. They only found three dead criminals, as opposed to the six that would have been there had the robbery had gone according to plan. Wrackspurts had just saved multiple peoples' lives.


	5. I Can't Remember What Number Comes Next

Hermione quickly went down the stairs towards the witches and wizards, money in pocket. They had found a nice bench to sit on while she was inside. She looked at them again. There was Neville, Ginny, Harry, and Ron, but no Luna.

"Where's Luna? Did you see her come out here?" asked Hermione.

"Nope." Ron stood up and stretched. "Must still be in the bathroom."

"We'll wait for her out here." Harry crossed and uncrossed his legs, obviously nervous. "How much money do we have?"

"I took out two hundred in American currency," she explained. "It's about twenty-five Galleons, if that makes more sense."

"_American _money?" exclaimed Ron. "We're in _America_?" Ginny also looked surprised.

"Well, considering everyone has an American accent and we're using American money—what was that?" Everyone turned and looked at the bank. Screaming and loud bangs could be heard from within.

Neville started to reach for his wand. "What's happening in there?"

Ron did the same. "What's all that banging?"

Harry and Hermione both paled. "Gunfire," he stated as a few more shots went off. "Someone's robbing the bank."

Ginny's eyes widened and she started to run to the entrance. "Luna's still in there!"

"Ginny, _wait_!" Harry grabbed on to her hand and pulled her back just as a bus came careening off the street and into the entrance of the bank.

"We have to get Luna out of there!" Ginny looked back at the bank, worrying.

"It's dangerous!" said Hermione. "I don't know if a shield charm will work correctly against bullets—it should, but…"

Before they could decide on what to do, the bus backed out of the building and joined a line of other school busses on the road. Police cars were on the way with sirens blaring.

"There's the police! We can ask them to help us find her." suggested Hermione.

Neville put his wand back in to his pocket. "They'd probably have to ask a load of questions about us, though. Like who we are, why we're here…"

Ron nodded in agreement. "There's a lot we can't tell them, and—ouch!"

Everyone simultaneously winced in pain as their pockets heated up.

Hermione reached in to her pocket. "The Dumbledore's Army coins! Luna must be sending us a signal."

Ron pulled out his coin and almost dropped it. "A really _strong_ signal."

"But does it mean that she's okay, or does it mean that she's hurt?" asked Harry as he looked at his. It was glowing faintly.

"She's doing well enough to cast a spell." Neville looked at the destroyed bank entrance. The police were sectioning it off with yellow tape. "We could at least ask them to keep a lookout for her, since we can't go in and investigate ourselves."

"I'll describe her to them." Ron went up the stairs and towards the officers. He tried to get the attention of one that wasn't too busy.

"Er, excuse me, sir." He tapped him on the shoulder. "I—well, we had a friend in the bank when the robbery happened and we haven't seen her so if you could all just keep an eye out for her thanks." He was about to walk away when the officer cleared his throat.

Ron turned back around shoulders slumped. The officer was looking at him and holding a small notepad. "What did she look like?" asked the officer.

He scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I should probably tell you that. I just don't know how this whole police thing works, and, er…"

The officer looked at him impatiently. "Please tell me your name and a way to contact you, and then tell me what this girl looks like."

"Well, my name's Ronald Weasley but people just call me Ron. Luna, I mean the girl, her name is Luna Lovegood. She's got light blue eyes and blonde hair. She acts kind of weird."

The officer looked up from his notepad. "And a way to contact you…?"

His face went red. "There, er, isn't one, really…"

"You aren't a runaway, are you? You sure don't sound like you're from around here."

"No, I'm not—I'm not a runaway." he stuttered, but the officer didn't seem to believe him.

"Son, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me."

Ron, confused, followed him to a police car.

Hermione, still over at the bench, gasped. "What's he doing?"

"They aren't _arresting _him, are they?" asked Harry.

To them, it definitely seemed like they were doing just that. One police car headed back to the station with Ron inside.

* * *

The thestrals, after one wild night of terror, had found a quiet spot behind a restaurant where they could relax and much on leftover meatballs. Kurt, Bob, Branch, and Jones were beginning to feel ripped off. Here they were in the Promised Land, and no one was fawning over their exquisite appearance. Instead, everyone ran away screaming and crying, and that got old quick. They were even considering returning to Hogwarts.

Run and Jump, however, seemed to be having the time of their lives. They were taking turns hiding behind the dumpster and jumping out at any poor unfortunate soul that walked past.

Bob turned his head towards Kurt. "You know, this place isn't really all that great."

Branch and Jones nodded in agreement. Kurt looked over at the twins. "They seem to be enjoying themselves."

Branch rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but they're _weird._ I say we go back to Hogwarts."

Kurt did the thestral version of a shrug. "I wouldn't mind going back. They have better food, anyways."

Jones stood up and whinnied. "We need to tell everyone about how lame this place is. Can we leave now, like, right now?"

Kurt spread his wings. "Sure. Run and Jump can just stay here. They know the way back."

And so the four thestrals returned to Hogwarts, leaving Run, Jump, and their former riders behind.


	6. In Which There Are Words

Sorry for the delay.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Hogwarts, the teachers were very near to losing their minds. Harry Potter was missing, and the inquisitive (or just nosy,) students wanted to know why, but none of the teachers had a definitive answer.

Dumbledore had also returned after the Ministry saw Voldemort and the Death Eaters in their very own Department of Mysteries. This event made them give considerably more consideration to Dumbledore's claims, and he was quickly reinstated as headmaster of Hogwarts.

Umbridge had also tumbled out of the Forbidden Forest, covered in leaves and spluttering about filthy horsemen, but no one cared about her.

At about lunchtime, the Order of the Phoenix held an emergency meeting. Hagrid, having come along with Dumbledore and Snape, had some enlightening news.

"Well, I got Fang out to see if he could find their scent, see, and he followed it up to were I keep the thestrals," he explained as the Order members listened intently. "Just as we got to it, four of 'em come fallin' out of the sky and Fang keeps barking and sniffing at 'em. I'm thinkin' that they rode the thestrals out somewhere."

"Six students are missing, but only four thestrals came back," Sirius pointed out.

"Maybe two of them rode one," said Tonks.

"Two of the thestrals are missing, actually, so six went out, but only four came back," added Hagrid.

"We don't know if they even rode the thestrals." Snape crossed his arms. "Is there a way to prove that they did?"

The group thought for a moment.

"We can look through their memories," suggested Dumbledore. "It may be a bit difficult to extract them, but it can be done."

The other members nodded in agreement, and one hour, three kicked shins, and two thestral bites later, the Order was standing over a portable pensieve, watching the memories inside swirl around. They each took turns looking in and commenting on the information.

"Why did they need to go to the Ministry?" asked Sirius.

"It must have had something to do with the Death Eater break-in," said Lupin. "Why did the thestrals go off course?"

Tonks ran a hand through her hair as it changed from red to blue. "What was the city they ended up in?"

"Well, if their little rampage afterwards is anything to go by, they ended up in a muggle city." said Moody.

"They travelled west for the majority of the trip, so chances are they're somewhere in America." added Sirius.

Snape finally contributed to the conversation. "The thestrals left in an empty space behind a restaurant. We were able to get a good look at it before the memory ended. Perhaps apparition could be used?"

"Trans-continental apparition uses a tremendous amount of energy and skill," explained Dumbledore as he took the memory back out of the pensieve and stored it in a vial. "Especially when the only knowledge we have of our destination is a memory."

Tonks started to put the small pensieve away. "It's worth a shot."

"We'll get as close as we can, first. Just a simple trip across the Atlantic to the coast, and then we will apparate. Severus, I suggest that you continue teaching at the school, as to not arouse suspicion." Dumbledore waved his wand, and a few brooms floated out of a nearby closet.

Snape nodded, and disapparated back to Hogsmeade without another word. The remaining order members took the brooms and headed outside. After casting a few invisibility charms, they were up in the air and headed towards the Atlantic.

* * *

Hermione was nearly pulling her hair out in frustration. "We've lost Luna—and now Ron—and the thestrals—"

Ginny was just as upset, but slightly less expressive about it. "We really need to figure out a way to get them back."

"Let's go to the police station to get Ron back, and we'll keep in touch with Luna as we go." Harry started to walk the way the police car had gone.

Neville caught up with them as they went quickly down the street. "How?"

"How what?" asked Harry, exasperated.

"Well, both getting Ron back and talking to Luna."

"I suppose I could change the dates on the side to letters. I hope they notice it."

Hermione pulled out the coin and lightly touched it with the wand. "There—now they say 'Hello, Luna. Please Respond.'."

"And then what?" asked Ginny as she avoided tripping over a particularly smelly hobo's outstretched legs.

"We wait for her to respond," she answered, trying to walk and watch the coin at the same time. "I'm not sure what to do about Ron, though."

Harry frowned. "We'll figure something out."

* * *

Luna sat in the back of the bus, enjoying herself immensely. She had never ridden a bus like this before, and while it was nothing like Knight Bus, the clown driving it added to the experience. He had very interesting bouts of road rage.

Taking advantage of the privacy, she pulled out the coin and tapped it with her wand, saying what she hoped was the right spell. It heated up, and she smiled. A few minutes later, it heated up again, and the writing on the side had changed. It read: "Hello, Luna. Please Respond."

She tilted her head and prodded it with the wand a few times. Now it had: "Hi. O.K. On bus with clown. And you?"

A few moments later, it changed. "Ron with police, we're getting him. Clowns?"

"One clown. I'll try to get more info soon. Police?"

"Long story. Find out more about where we are, and the bank."

"O.K., will do." Luna put the coin back in her pocket, and then walked up the aisle to the seat behind the driver. When the bus reached a stoplight, she started asking questions.

"So what's your name?" she asked, looking up at the stoplight with curiosity. "Mine's Luna."

The clown absentmindedly rubbed a scar at the side of his mouth with his thumb. "Joe. Joe Kerr." he said finally, having thought the question over for almost a full minute. The stoplight went green, and the bus was back in motion.

"Where are we?"

"Gotham, or more specifically, twenty-fourth street, but soon to be that alley over there," he answered, turning the bus on to the aforementioned alley."

"That's interesting." She picked at a loose piece of leather on the seat. "Where are we going?"

"…Headquarters," he said, also thinking this question through carefully.

She leaned back in the seat, wishing he would answer the questions a little bit faster. "So what were you doing in the bank?"

"How do you get rid of wrackspurts?" he said, quickly enough to almost interrupt her, but she hardly noticed. She was happy to finally talk about something that interested her, and started to give a lengthy description of wrackspurts, what they were, where they lived, what they ate, and so on.

Joe Kerr, usually just referred to as Joker, tuned out her babbling and focused on parking outside the dilapidated motel.

* * *

"Ugh…" Ron leaned forward in the chair and wrapped his arms around his gurgling stomach. He hadn't eaten in _hours_, and his digestive system was consistently reminding him about it. Being stuck in the Gotham police department with nothing to do but sit and wait wasn't helping, either. The muggle police had searched him for weapons, but had thought nothing of the D.A. coin and his wand.

Speaking of the D.A. coin, it had been heating up at seemingly random intervals. It took him a few minutes to realize that the circumference of the coin, having previously been marked with the dates of the meetings, would now show short messages from Hermione and Luna. He read them and replied to them when he was sure no one could see him using his wand.

"Hey. This is Ron. At police station, I guess."

There was a reply, presumably from Hermione. "We're on our way, Ron, we'll be there soon."

"O.K., thanks." He re-pocketed the coin and wand when a police officer passed by. Now all there was left to do was be hungry. And wait. And be hungry. It was going to be a long, arduous wait of hungriness, he decided, as he leaned back in the chair and sighed.


	7. Bluh Bluh Huge Delay

sorry for the delay

school, it just keeps happening

There will be more chapters soon, I promise.

* * *

Having calmed down from the Ministry incident, Voldemort was now irritated at the fact that Harry Potter had practically disappeared. Apparently, Potter wasn't very close with his godfather. He'd been sending short visions of Sirius getting tortured for the majority of the day, and Potter _still_ hadn't come running like the heroic idiot he was.

His thoughts were interrupted by an approaching Death Eater.

"We've received news that the Order is on the move," said the Death Eater, voice wavering in fear from the force of the Dark Lord's glare. "They've set off for the Atlantic. It's likely that they got a lead on Potter."

"Follow them and find out where they think he is. Potter is lost and vulnerable. _We must reach him before they do!"_

The bus was parked haphazardly in front of the motel, stretched diagonally across three faded parking spots and one tire on top of a rusted 'Deliveries Only' sign.

The Joker opened the bus doors, and then looked back at Luna, who was still rambling about wrackspurts.

"A_hem_. This is the part where we get off the bus," he said, waving towards the open door. "Ladies first."

She nodded, and quickly complied. Once she was off of the bus, she started surveying the outside of the motel.

"So do you live here?" she asked, taking note of the wall that was peeling paint flakes comparable in size to a sheet of printer paper.

"With a couple of others, yeah. Actually, here they are now." He turned towards the door, where both Poison Ivy and the Scarecrow were looking at Luna with confusion.

"Doctors Isley and Crane!" The Joker waved at them as he and Luna went in to the building. "Meet your new, uh, guest. Lois."

"Luna," she corrected, shaking hands with the two surprised villains. "Luna Lovegood. I'm here to cure the wrackspurt problem. Mr. Kerr has an infestation."

The two morally ambiguous doctors shared a look that simply said: what the hell?

Luna adjusted her Spectrespecs and brushed past them, lost in deep thought.

The Joker gave a wide, disconcerting smile, then headed off towards whatever room he happened to be occupying for the day.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Crane spoke up. "Well, I'm not babysitting. I have work to do tonight."

Poison Ivy shook her head quickly. "I don't want to watch over some kid, either! Why is she here? I know she said something about an infestation."

"She must be, ah… _special_. In the head, that is."

She snorted. "At least she'll be in like company."

Crane rolled his eyes and stalked off in to the parking lot, trying to find the van that hopefully hadn't been crushed by the bus.

* * *

The sun was sinking low on the smog-ridden horizon as the remaining four of the Gryffindor Trio strode onwards with a purpose, even if they weren't entirely sure what that purpose was. Hermione was mulling over how to retrieve both Ron and Luna while Harry was struggling against a monstrous headache, a side-effect of the recent excessive telepathy between himself and Voldemort.

Ginny mind was also occupied, but by more mundane things such as "Where are we going to sleep?" They had money, sure, but depending on where they wanted to stay, it could make a lot of problems with the current budget, because they needed _this _amount for food and _this _amount for water and _this_ amount for if they even wanted to consider getting back to Hogwarts…

This left Neville as the only one with a relatively clear mind, and that was for a given definition of 'clear'. He was currently leading their foray in to the city, and as time passed, his dread was growing. He was not looking forward to telling his distracted companions that they were hopelessly lost.

At that time, they were located behind a large parking garage. Seeing a long, low concrete wall, they collectively came to the conclusion that they would take a break from walking.

They were about to begin debating about what to do next when a large man garbed in black, wearing hockey pads, and donned with a black cowl with pointy ear-things that made him look like a badly stylized bat crept by in an attempt at stealth. He stopped once he saw the four teenagers staring at him.

"…What?" asked the man, defensively.

"Nothing," said Neville. "Nothing at all."

* * *

Bruce Wayne had been hearing rumors. He usually did. Being in high society helped this, as all the gossip, like scum, had a tendency to float up to the top. There was going to be a mob meeting in a parking garage tonight, though who exactly would be meeting varied from account to account. There were ongoing hallucinations in the Narrows, though no major traces of the fear toxin could be found. Someone called the Joker was leaving trails for the police that lead to nowhere. Bruce sifted through all of the information in his head, trying to fit some of it together. There were a few accounts that pertained to the Batman and his actions. Many of them involved things he never did. He had wanted to inspire the people of Gotham, sure, but this copycat thing was getting out of hand.

Dressed in his cumbersome Batman gear, he started up the Batmobile. Tonight he was going to intercept whatever mob dealings were going to go down in that parking lot.

The sun had set, and the dingy Gotham night had taken over. The concrete building loomed overhead. It was time to set things up.

* * *

The Order members had arrived on the Atlantic coast. The sky was grey and rumbling, and the beach was deserted. There had been a minor mishap due to the high tide, and there had been much cursing of jellyfish.

Taking one last good look in to the portable Pensieve, they prepared to apparate to the safest-looking location that they could glean from the Thestral's memories. There had been a long, empty stretch in the middle of the rampage where they had cantered through an abandoned-looking street and stopped in an alleyway. Based on the lack of cars and humans, it seemed as safe a place as any.

The apparation was completed successfully, or, at the very least, no body parts were lost. The alley was small, dark, and smelly. Tonks shoved through the chaotic mess of wizards and witches and made it in to the relatively cleaner street. The rest filed out behind her after the initial confusion.

Remus went beside her, eyes flitting from building to building, analyzing everything he saw. There were miscellaneous, broken looking buildings around them, and a layered building at the end of the road full of cars.

Sirius trotted out next, already a dog, while Moody followed behind him. Sirius began sniffing the ground, meandering around the road.

There was a sudden loud bang, and each of the witches and wizards that were still human shaped pulled out their wands.

There was another bang, then dogs barking viciously. They heard the sound of an engine accelerating, a huge crunch, and the sound of glass shattering. The noises were coming from the car filled building at the end of the road.

They looked at each other in confusion. Moody hobbled backwards in to the shadows of the alleyway. The noise finally registered, and they realized it was those gun things that muggles used.

Tonks glanced over to Lupin. "You don't think that they could possibly be involved…?'

He shook his head. "I hope that they would be smarter than that. We really shouldn't interfere in muggle affairs." Even with this reasoning, he felt worried. The city was huge, but there was always a chance.

Tonks gave him a tight-lipped nod, lowering her wand but keeping it in her hand. Sirius went down a side road, sniffing as he went. The rest of the Order followed after him.

* * *

Yeah not much action is in this chapter _but there will be soon I swear_. I just wanted to put this out there so you guys know that the fic is alive.


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